That Drifting Poo Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.
As we consider the TV landscape of the recent year, a selection of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. Ranging from awkward spin-offs to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.
The 'Sex and the City' Sequel
Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final series started, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the last series. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, fans undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a little sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’
But that was practically the least of this show's issues. The recipient of a very rare no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to start listing the flaws. The laughably wooden writing? The tedious veneration of wealth and consumption? The seemingly deliberate procession of tropes? Acting so bad they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and never speak of this series again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Given the legal troubles, domestic violence claims and fatherly shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d truly have gleaned it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.
The Iris Affair
Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.
The Gangster Drama
Dodgy figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.
Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which seemed rather simplistic.
The Meghan Markle Series
Considering the degree to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into quaint lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine come to life; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are obviously fascinating things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Rather, the experience was akin to consuming a marketing brochure. She clearly has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any favours with this guarded non-event of a series.
The Game Show
It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you want? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.
Too Much
How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.
Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping
Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the shrewd inclusion of talented emerging comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.
The Knox Dramatisation
This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from oddly breezy, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Very much so.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for explicit escapades as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was way more examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific shots and absolutely no interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.
